When my nieces and nephews were younger I would get them every to every other weekend. I intentionally wanted to ensure that they knew and grew up knowing, loving, and being with each other. I also wanted them to know who their family was, what we stood for, and expected of them as to their father’s and mother’s were not married and it would not happen unless intentional or done on purpose. All of our weekends started with us together at my home and ended with us going to church together. I worked hard to bridge the significance of our family and faith through the manner in which we fellowship. We learned to play and praise together and it has been our custom to do them both seriously. Those times of intentionality has helped foster a connectedness that transcends time, resource, and proximity. It laid and built the foundation for what we express and experience to this day. We have come through a many things but none of those things have mattered significantly because by the grace of God we are still standing, still living and loving each other despite our location, lack, or loss of contact/communication. God has given me the awesome opportunity to be the glue that keeps us cohesive, connected, and communal. They will tell you Auntie Brina will roll up on you, find you, and come see about you without you telling her where you’re at or that you experiencing trouble. My first road trip (without a map, phone number, or address) was to find and see about my kids when my 1st baby momma got mad and moved out of town unknowingly (Winston-Salem NC) (it took sometime but she moved back and has been here every since). My 2nd baby momma converted to Islam and remarried…which motivated me to learn their customs and beliefs so I could help transition all of us to respect the difference and diversity of what she (my niece Sehrea Hestin’s daughter) is being taught. My 3rd baby momma moved to Charlotte (what is it about NC?). I rolled up on her and my nephew as well…they share custody of my nephew so we have him every other year. And my last baby momma is the most varied of them all, having never been exposed to family or faith in an intentional way she watches and witnesses our family dynamic in a certain kind of awe and have grown to appreciate the intensity of AntTBri.
One of the things I did early on to ensure we met our objective was to have us pray as a family before we went to bed and as we traveled to church. Praying in process became a dynamic of our practice…before, as, and on our way we learned to talk to God. Each one of us spoke to God one by one…despite the age, whether we wanted to, or knew what to say, felt like it or not. The older set (Ron’s 3 children) was so use to this they fell in line…but my Jalen (Joe’s son), Sehrea and Imani (Josh’s daughter) struggled with it at first. Jalen unlike the others was not “churched” he did not grow up attending, assisting, and articulating the things expressed and experienced in children’s church with me. Sehrea knew how to pray she just didn’t feel comfortable with the God, Jesus, Allah conversions. Imani was much too young to remember the impression of early exposure to the things of God (when I served as youth director and pastor of my former church) so she often used the fact that she was shy to try to evade speaking out loud to God. So I would often coach her and Jalen on what to say and encouraged Sehrea to speak whatever was on her heart. We, all of us learned to speak, pray, and believe in process.
We started out very basic like God we thank you for this day, for our lives, for our friends and family…bless the service and help us to focus on praising you with all our hearts today. The older ones would shake their heads and laugh at the simplicity of the younger ones prayer request before the Lord…until one day when Jalen started the song we sang together before we began praying together. My then little man started to sing “daily I will worship you” with such a sincerity and surety it shocked and silenced the car at first.. Usually I would have to assign who would start the song and prayer but this day he decided he would go first. He took the intuitive to set the topic or focus of our prayer (we had progressed to praying thematically together)…he said: “God we thank you for this beautiful day, for our beautiful lives and the beautiful people that are in them. God we love the parents you gave us, all of our family members but there are people who don’t have beautiful lives, people or families…they are sad, hurting, and they don’t know how to find you. Can you please help me and my family show them the way…he then tapped Imani who began to pray for the pastors of our church. I was thinking ok I’m going to have to redirect her back to the theme as I waited for her to conclude she said “God bless Pastor Shelia, Pastor Jackie, Pastor Betty, Pastor Tommy and Pastor Bronner to help us love you more so we can love people that don’t have food, clothes and toys to play with because they don’t have money, help them not rob other people to get it but let them ask you because you will give them what they need”. She prayed for the little girl who didn’t know she was beautiful, for the little boy who thought he was ugly, and for the parents that were too tired to pay attention to their kids and let them be bad and mean. Needless to say the older ones were no longer laughing or regurgitating scriptures or prayers they were accustomed to praying to appease my request. Jalen and Imani had moved us from generalized prayer to specific, target directed communication from ones heart to Gods. We were praying God’s purposes as we rode to church together without knowing what was going on or happening or having any proof or evidence that what we were praying was specific to anyone person or situation they actually knew about. We were praying God’s heart in process.
As I look back in retrospect…a few years later I’m wondering if they can still pray in such a fashion. Jalen is back with us, Imani is now older, and Sehrea is well let’s just say she is wise beyond her years…the things that come from her are so heartfelt that they grip you at your very core. I don’t get them as much, and we haven’t prayed together as a family in a while. I don’t even remember them or me asking each other to sing or pray when we enter the car to go anywhere now. I usually pop in a cd, play music from my phone, and let them talk about whatever it is they’re going to talk about. It was our custom to talk to God on the way to church so when we got to church we would be ready to praise, pray and hear the Word proclaimed (all though the younger ones usually fell asleep before then). Season’s ago I use to get all the nieces and nephews at one time before the age differences made it hard to keep everyone engaged in the process. Now it’s just easier to get the younger ones and let the older ones choose to hang out with the younger cousins and their auntie when they ask to. Seasons change and to be absolutely honest I don’t have the same stamina, strength, or stick with it as I had in my younger days…not that I’m old I just don’t feel like exerting that much energy after getting them all ready, feeding them, and making it to the car in time to get to church on time. All I want to do is get there…I use the ride for a moment of solace after negotiating personality conflicts among them so early in the morning.
Most times it’s just easier to let certain things slide and do what you can do, when you can do them. If I’m absolutely honest back then I looked for opportunities to proactively teach them what I felt they needed to know. I not only prayed in process but I modeled behavior/ taught them in process. Now days usually lessons occur based upon the opportunity that is. No identifiable problem…no investment of time intentionally teaching them the how too’s of the life of faith…intentionally anyway. Maybe, it’s that things appear to be good, calm, cool and collect. Maybe I think that they got it, I’ve done all I could and my only responsibility now is to live the life of faith before them and they will get it. Or maybe not having the responsibility of teaching or leading others has gotten me lazy, lackadaisical, and leery of investing so much energy, effort, and enthusiasm in ensuring my kids grow up strong and right in the faith when there are so many odds working against them. Maybe I feel it really won’t make a difference. Here recently, I took all the girls to a movie and the youngest one (Imani) was openly articulating her disagreement to my request and response to what she wanted and didn’t want to do…the eldest one (Chimon’e) said “auntie you sure have changed… you’re going to let her get away with that…I would have never gotten away with that when I was her age”. Her statement has been with me every since…she’s absolutely correct. I’m not so intentional, intense, or interested in being for this second set what I’ve been for the first. I’ve pulled back, or put “my” influence in perspective with generalized directives, blanket cover directives, aimless words that hit or miss the target or focus of our interactions blaming it on a number of things that changed the variables for me but are non-factors for them.
Have you ever got tired of fighting for or against a thing? Did you ever lose confidence in what you bring to the table of life and love? Have you ever retreated into the “safe” zone? I have and almost retired there. It’s not that I didn’t and don’t care about the younger ones as I do the older ones. I love all my babies including the addition of the seven (Antoine’s children) that has been graciously added to the quality of my life recently. Super thrilled at the opportunity to be their AntTBri as well…looking forward to spending Thanksgiving with them in Nashville this year. I find myself asking God for new stamina, strength, and a strategy to bridge the gap of who I’ve been and am in Him. You see only God can revive, renew, and rejuvenate a broken heart taxed, traumatized, and tormented by past failure, frustration, and foolishness. I told God I couldn’t fight anymore…that I had no more fight in me…and I passively let life and love be whatever it manifest without rebuttal, resistance, or retaliation. Well it’s the dawning of a new day I’ve been kissed by the Son who has awakened sleeping beauty. I’m no longer going to perceive a thing and not pray a thing. Just like I intentionally executed the family plan I’m going after the faith plan. I’m willing and doing the work of warfare…putting works to my faith because I sense it’s time to Get Back to It! I’m working 3rd shift for a reason to proactively pray through the night watches of life and love. God’s purposes will prevail lets be intentional about praying, praising, and proclaiming the Word to that accord. Everything in me is screaming Get Back to It.
I don’t know exactly where you are in the process, the problems you are facing, but I do know the person of Jesus Christ who through the workings of the Holy Spirit will lead me to you…without a road-map, previous experience in finding and coming to your place, or navigating this road we have to travel to get to the place my words, gestures, touch, and heart can reach and pull you back to safety. But like my father says…I will throw you out a lifeline. I’ll find you in the Spirit; show up and stand strong with the purpose of God for your being. I promise to bring Jesus on the scene, to research and do the work of transition…be it in prayer, posture, or position. I can and I will allow God his perfect work in me…I will fight for you…the you you are, the you you are becoming, and the you you will be. Getting back to it means it’s not time to ease up or get off our post because things appear to be fine, uneventful, set and STILL . It’s not time to give up or give out. It’s time to fight for the lives that have been entrusted into our care, to wage an intentional war against the plan, plot, and continued progression of the enemy. He has not tired, trumped, or changed his tactic to steal, kill, and destroy you or me. We got to get back to it…the original plan, purpose, and promise attached to our person. Who has God called and gifted you to be? What has He put in your heart? Do you hear the clarion call…it’s time to get up, get back, get to doing what you’re gifted to do. Be the you… you are graced, gifted, and given the opportunity to be…100% because only that percentage brings God glory. What won’t or can’t happen without out your full participation? Do you need to target/focus your prayers and intercessions? Who or what are you fighting for? Do you love God, yourself, and them enough to get past previous failures so you and them can win in the future? Will you go after them in process…while you are praying, praising, and proclaiming the Word of God?
I’ve always been an advocate for family and now that I understand clearly that God’s definition of family is the bond/connection created between a husband and his wife (as instituted between Adam and Eve) …baby…I’m waging an intentional war for me and mine. The enemy will not steal, kill, or destroy what God has purposed to be. He will not silence my Adam nor scare me his Eve to forfeiting what God has given us to experience and express as we live and love in God’s likeness bringing Him all glory and honor. I hope you (like me) are targeting your prayers, praise, and proclamations of the Word to bring about the God plan, purpose and promise in process. Thank you to my nieces and nephews that taught me lessons in previous seasons to help prepare me for this and coming seasons… but most of all thank you God for this awesome opportunity to live and love in your likeness with the one my life’s been groomed to love…thank you to the one that holds my heart for inspiring me and now others to Get Back to It! God will bless and continue to honor our collaborations. Victoriously standing up, standing with and speaking out and for the purpose in which we must fight as God has purposed, planned, and predestined before time began. I’m fighting for God’s plan, purpose, and promise for our lives together as we live and love in His likeness. Let’s Get Back to It! ~AntTBri
In His Likeness w/ AntTBri 
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