In His Likeness w/ AntTBri

” I, the Lord your God, will make up for the losses caused by those swarms and swarms of locusts I sent to attack you ” Joel 2:25 CEV

Regret, repentance and remission of sin seems to be the process of restoration. Think about it, typically we come to regret a choice once we realize the consequences attached to our making that choice. We live and we love not knowing how to appropriate loss or access the damage. How exactly does one qualify the loss of time without first acknowledging what could have been accomplished had not this or that? Life and love entails memories, moments, mishaps that brings us to repentance. When we can no longer deny our choice our consequence we humble ourselves before a merciful God who grants us remission of sin. What an awesome God we serve. He loves us so much that He does what ever needs to be done to bring us back to Him. He allows the liberty of our choice and consequence to preserve the relationship. He allows us to cycle regret, repentance while He continues in remission and restoration. It’s a cycle best observed through biblical accounts of God’s covenant with his chosen people but identifiable in our lives as well.

One such account is displayed in the 2nd chapter of Joel. The prophet spoke the heart of God. The message being all this loss we’re experiencing is to get us to Return to God. The focus of pinpointing the losses was to prompt repentance so restoration could take place. The same cycle happens with us. God uses life and love to bring us back to Him. Notice the latter part of the verse…I sent it to attack you. I ALLOWED IT! I purposed the loss or there is purpose in the loss. One version of the very same verse categorizes the attack by listing the four kinds of locust used to bring about a change. The locust in its four stages of development were used to cause the necessary damage to bring Israel back to the heart of God. Such is the case with the degrees or levels of attack as we live and love (financial, family, friendship and fellowship attacks). Things that cause us pain, perplexity, pressure, and pester us.

For a number of reasons our heart posture towards God changes/shifts. We get off, go astray and then get back after awhile. Such is life. Such is love. Such is GRACE. Life and love suffers just enough loss/damage to temper attitudes and actions antithetical God. God allows the right amount of pain, perplexity and pestilence to help us catch our minds. Wait a minute, what’s going on? Why this or why that? How did life or love get here? Finding the answer to these type questions often lands us in the hotseat of regret. Yes God you are perfectly right and I am wrong. Help me not choose against you again is the hearts repentance. It’s the moment when we get out of God’s way and He takes his rightful place. He pardons our sin of disobedience and restores our relationship to Him. God’s heart towards us never shifts/changes. Our hearts towards him does. We live and we love opposite his direction. His unfailing love is constant, consistent and courageous. God believes we will reciprocate His love so He allows our choice and consequence. He maintains our right to freely choose Him, his word, wat and work. The damage we do to life and love is controlled by the shedding of His blood. The blood covers it all, the good, the bad and the indifferent.

Yes we loose some time, some things and we suffer damages as a result of our choice and consequence. But we learn to choose God and that in and of itself is the benefit of Damage control. God controls the variables of life and love. He allows life and love to cycle. The stages of development and the stages of damage both are beneficial, both bless us, both bombards our awareness of who God is and how dependent upon Him we are to live and love. We are to make the most out of every opportunity…nothing, no lesson is useless in the kingdom. Its all used in accordance to God’s purpose, plan and promise. God, himself will make up for the losses of life and love. He promises to bless the latter house greater than the former house. Restoration brings satisfaction without shame. We live and love appreciative of the beautiful and wonderful things God allows us to experience after the attacks brought on as a result of our choosing.

There was a particular Tuesday night some 8 years ago that I made a choice not to comply, cooperate and communicate what God was clearly speaking to me. I was afraid to trust God. I didn’t trust myself nor did I trust the individual I was to speak to. I didn’t think they would receive, reciprocate or respond positively so I stayed seated. I choose to sit on it, to try to get myself together…to help make saying yes look more appealing. I wanted to come hands full bearing gifts but as life and love would have it that was not the case. When I think back on that night, as I recall the clarity experienced in hearing the voice of God I feel such regret. I regret not seizing that moment believing that the moment would come again when I was ready, right, resourceful. I regret esteeming my opinion of me, my choice of pride over God’s directive because it has caused me to live and love at an uncomfortable distance.

In that moment I choose opposite God’s directive and it has cost me some loss. I’ve had to come to grips with the consequences of my choice. It has humbled me and yes it has hurt me but In every way that matters to me it helped me see God, myself and others correctly.

You see I looked a hotmess to myself, I wouldn’t have chosen me for that particular type of assignment not in that state/shape. It was hard for me to believe God for the magnitude of what He showed me and even if I could how in hell was I to communicate that without certian variables in place or without appearing crazy? Since that missed opportunity I’ve tried to position myself better to no avail and with every look like it’s going to be the thing that gets me ready (book deal, job, house, car etc) for one reason or another falls flat. I’ve had so many Florida Evan’s (off Good Times) moments “damn, damn, damn” over the past 8 years that I’m convinced the only appeal allowable in this season is God in me working through me. I had to reassess me, my need to be in control, have a say, feel comfortable, NOT NEED ANYONE, do life and love my way according to my standards. I had to come to true repentance for maintaing this heart posture. God you’re right about me, help me see me like you see me. I had to repent for how I was viewing my assignment, better, greater than little, insignificant me. I had to grow into yes Lord. There has been stages of development and stages of damage but thanks be to God I’m still here living and loving in hope of another chance. I choose to believe in God’s damage control…his restoration.

I’ve come to the conclusion that God was never placing the emphasis on my doing or saying in that moment. He was simply requiring my obedience and willingness to trust Him for what He wants to give me. Life and love is His gift to give as He desires, design and designates. He is our inheritance. He wants to give, grant and grace us with His heart towards us. Had not I made that choice, the consequential wouldn’t have brought me to repentance and I would not realize the significance of remission nor be looking to God for the promise of restoration. I understand the cycle of damage control. It’s pro’s and it’s con’s. It’s a waste of time to think we can fix, secure, or do anything without God. If He doesn’t do it in us or through us all our toiling is is vain. Unless the Lord builds or in my case rebuilds the house the building is invain. Thanking God because even in the damage He proves He is still in control.

We all have suffered loss, damage no one is saying, living or loving like it’s not so. The importance of this moment however is to see God, ourselves and others correctly through then lens of our choice. Because we can’t get back time we’ll never know what could have transpired had I been obedient and just asked “Is there something happening here? Is God speaking to you like He’s speaking to me”? Thank God for forgiveness, His grace and His mercy for the time He’s going to revisit life and love again. I pray we will be ready, responsive able to receive and reciprocate God’s love. In the meantime, thank God that He is all knowing and He is into the details of life and love. He is the master of damage control~AntTBri