In His Likeness w/ AntTBri

I know we generally typecast the other woman as a villian.  It’s easy to hate her, to tear her down and discount her impact, influence and investment in the process of life and love.  She is, whom ever she may be a contributor to life and love as you now  know it and she deserves your respect.  

How does the other woman help us?  What can we learn from her?  Is she our friend or foe?  It might be tempting to categorize her negatively but I’d like to challenge us to look at her again…lets try to refrain from judgment and personal bias and see if we can find reason to respect her.

Does the negative connotations of the “other woman” prevent us from acknowledging that she assists in growth and development?  The things experienced and expressed with those women before us (mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, previous girlfriends and or ex wives and baby mommas) helps lay the foundation of life and love with us. They learn a number of things about themselves (strengths and weaknesses), how to pray, persevere and live and love passionately with the opposite sex. 

Although the context of other may be varied the discussion is singular.  There is no reason to take issue with those before you…the fact that he loves you and is with you today means there was still room for you.  You have and hold your own significance and add something uniquely you to his existence.  Same role, different person equals a new experience and expression and no comparison, competition or reason to be overly concerned.  There is always something to be learned, a way to see negatives as positives we need only to be observant.The other waman can teach us a thing or two about what to do or not to do if we want to secure, safeguard and satisfy him. Let’s see if Hagar, Leah, Vashti and Peninnah have been given a fair wrap in our assessment of the other woman.  What if appreciating their contribution to life and love helps you value and understand the responsibility of repositioning and replacement.

They afterall,  were not trifling home wreckers,  desperate, empty or whoring women looking to score big and coveting what didn’t belong to them.  These weren’t single women preying on the vulnerabilities of weak men and taking advantage of a bad situation.  Again they were not desiring what was not theirs nor did they seduce, trap or manipulate these men. They were wives just like Sarah, Rachel, Hannah and Esther. Depending on how you look at it the “other women” very well could have been considered the First Wives Club although most discount, discredit and disqualify her importance.  So is the other woman’s  offense in the order she enters his life or in the connection she had with Abraham, Jacob and Elkanah and Xerxes before she was desposed of? Is this a cultural or historical problem between us women…our need to matter most and prove our worth?   Does the other woman inherit disrespect, disqualification and degradation because she makes us feel some kind away about our significance and place in Abrams, Jacobs, Elkanah and Xerxes heart.  Are we as women that catty, insecure and threatened by the gift of another woman’s expertise or giftings?  I hope and pray not but if so maybe this discussion can help us see them differently.

Let’s ask Rachael whose father decided it was only fair that her older sister Leah be married first.  Why did she decide Leah was her competition? Everyone knew she was Jacobs preference. He worked double for her. What more did she need to be validated by his love? Tradition, life on life terms got him caught in between a rock and a hard place.  Seems to me Rachel should have taken issue with daddy or even Jacob (you couldn’t tell that wasn’t me…you’d get that drunk the first time you have the pleasure of being with me?).  Why pit herself against her sister who didn’t intentionally inflict pain or manipulate circumstances to circumvent her?  What if modern day Rachel’s chose to believe in the Sovereign God who decides life and love.  What if knowing He is in control helps us accept those things we deem as unfair and unnecessary.  If not for Leah, would Jacob have loved Rachel so extravagantly?  There would have been no need for him to work seven MORE years.  We don’t know how that time worked in Rachel’s favor completely but we do know Jacob didn’t begrudge doing so and he didn’t consider or treat her like a burden as a result of his toil.  His love of and for her did not twain no matter how many children Leah produced.  The experience of Leah was a litmus test there’s sex and then there is the joining of souls. Which would you prefer?  If nothing more, and I’m sure there is plenty more Leah taught Rachel the benefit of being willing to appease Jacobs need to relax, relate and release.  One could only gather they had lots of sex and she knew how to make the parts of him that could tolerate her respond accordingly.  So Rachel could have chose to treasure Jacobs heart toward her because she witnessed him going through the motions with Leah.  She also could have learned from Leah’s desperation.  How she lived and loved to gain some form of connection.  Rachel we’re beautiful, we have Jacobs heart, his devotion but do we have substance?  That she factor that is determined to find away to be a blessing and add to Jacob bounty beneficially.  Can you fit in those places he allow you until God secures your placement along his side? Can you love him from a place of want to instead of ought to?

We can also ask her great grandmother Sari.  Who afterall suggested Hagar to Abram. On the surface one might think her intentions were noble. She was invested in Abrams purpose, promise and pursuit of faith.  “Hagar can give you what I’m unable to, so take her and use her as our surrogate”.  So on one level she acknowledges God could use Hagar to help grow Abram, she believed in his purpose and God’s promise.  So when He did why turn on the maid of her choosing and treat her husband’s seed like a bastard child? Does Hagar deserve deeper consideration?
Afterall  Sarah she stood proxy until you gained strength to conceive.  Maybe that’s the gift we can attribute to the other woman that comes before us.  We can think if not say thank you for being the vessel God used to get Abram to grow into Abraham and Jacob into Israel.  Had not he experienced life and love with you before me I wouldn’t be blessed to benefit from his developmental growth. You taught him somethings about life and love that will benefit me.  He’s learned what to do and not do…what works and doesn’t work in terms of responsibility and accountability.  Because of what he shared with you he’s better prepared to share more with me.

If not that lesson surely we can consider the provoking of Peninnah.  Had it not been for her Hannah would not resorted to pouring her heart out before the Lord.  She could have left it like Rachel mentioning her barren state to her husband and leaving it up to him to consult God.  I’m not suggesting that the other woman doesn’t have the propensity to get on your nerves, that she won’t use what she knows about him or what they shared without you as leverage to maintain or establish a measure of control. What I’m saying Hannah is you can choose to see it differently, to let it make you stronger by divulging what you feel to God.  It’s not about her, her memory or behavior toward you.  It’s about what God can do with and through you if you trust Him and just be who you are.  Your faith can bring about different results, it will add to the quality of your life and love.  You can not only be loved more but blessed to share more by appreciating who Elkanah is with and to you.  When it’s right Peninah tactics won’t shake, stop or stall a thing.  Hannah life and love is a gift from God.  Remember that and your petition will be honored plus God will grant you peace that surpasses all your understanding.  Peninnah teaches us the plight of a peace less woman whose priorities are self indulgence and insecurity.

Vashti was beautiful and busy too preoccupied to heed Xerxes request of her.  She shared his wealth and kingdom but failed to share his passion for ruling the kingdom.  She was a queen in every since of the word but failed to be his queen.  She pitted herself against his passion desire or insisting he choose.  Her loss, unrepentant heart and arrogance gave way to her being replaced. She can teach us to honor our Xerxes, to live and love respecting the requirements of his leadership.  Esther as long as we seek God for how to go before and exit the kings presence we can secure his willingness to share life and love with us.  Once he knows you have his back, his best intentions at heart not even the strongest enemy can annihilate the assignment God deemed you fulfill together.  Esther you’ve been called for such a time as this to help and save God’s people from the plan, plot and ploys of the enemy.  It’s  going to take your prayer and fasting and Xerxes power and seal to secure the God plan for you together. Don’t hate Vashti or wish you where her in her robes of disobedience and dishonor.  Pray for the correct perspective, passion toward your husband and the purpose your love will serve.

You are you, beautiful and blessed with a different perspective.  Live and love with a heart to serve not be served and your virtue will keep you coming before the King and king.

The other woman, helps us understand that like her we’ve been giving an opportunity to love, honor and respect the man of Gods choosing.  He has learned somethings from her, best case scenario he will learn from you as well.  Instead of competing, comparing or complaining about the other women in his life before you… be the best God loyal woman you can be.  Put all your