In His Likeness w/ AntTBri

From a baby on, I’ve never been one who liked to be messy.  My nickname was “sitting pretty” because my mother kept me clean.  I don’t like dirt or being dirty. I’m not an outdoorsy type person. Messy Marvin’s will be most miserable around me. Yeah it’s not very likely I’m going to get my hands dirty or keep them dirty for long. Gardening as relaxing and resourceful as it may be will not likely be a pastime… I’ve already tried. I couldn’t  get past the dirt, water, mud and mess.   All these years later seems one can still call me “sitting pretty”..it’s not a good thing.

Like life in the natural is love in the spiritual. During my morning devotion I’ve come to see how bias my Yes Lord really is.  Yes as long as it is neat, clean, looks right or favorable. Yes as long as it doesn’t  require   me getting dirty or looking a mess (to myself more than to others).  Up until I noticed or could no longer deny it that was the deal breaker for me. My pride and my prejudice.  The level of blatant disobedience.  God lforgive me and help me live and love differently.

As soon as life or love  appears dirty, messy my first inclination is to run.  I live and love avoiding the possible scandal…being somebodies conversation piece….opposite the lime light in the background to avoid the scruniity of  being the headliner when I  fall to the deprivity of humanity.  What a chicken, how cowardly… smh.

This current reality has me in a catch twenty two because I promised God I would not leave.  Dirty, messy situations,  scenarios and scenes don’t appeal to me. Especially when it’s affecting, affiliated and around me and mines.  Living and loving vulnerable is problematic for a control freak (Help me Lord). I cannot but I want to protect my heart from the ridicule, harsh judgment and accusations of commentaries.  I want to fight for honor’s sake and defend my love but it’s not my place or right…not even my cause in actuality.

So I’ve been talking to God, careful not to say or speak outright against what’s concerning me…trying to put some distance between what I know and how I’m feeling because the goal isn’t to hurt or be guilty of sowing seeds of discord and causing dissensions. So my plan was to gracefully bow and back out but I didn’t come to a place of peace with that option.

Matthew 13:24-30 the parable of the weed dropped in my heart and has since illuminated my thoughts on the matter.  Looks like there’s a lesson to be learned amongst the dirt.  I cannot continue to live and love afraid or avoiding the inevitablility of dirt.

Let’s look at the text:

As a safeguard to protect the wheat from being uprooted before being fully developed the owner advised the servants to let (allow/permit) the tares and the wheat to grow together until harvest.
Does this suggest that good seed and bad weed can coexist, and come up together and can still render a harvest for the sower?  Doesn’t this seem counterproductive to optimal growth practice?  Yet, the owner confidently states “allow them both to grow together… they’ll be separated (divided) at the harvest. Wouldn’t it be easier to, less eventful if good seed could grow minus the threat and trouble of weeds? Why is the concern, the care given to the good seed and little to no emphasis is placed on the enemy and growing weeds.  Is it because God deems both insequendental to the growth of good seed?  Maybe good seed is safeguarded, protected if you will from hostile environmental influence.  Maybe tares look like wheat in the growing stages but can be easily detected when fully grown. Possibly, wheat and tare grow the same to a certain point.  Definitely one must consider not just what is growing but the ground (dirt) in which it is growing. Is this why we’re instructed not to judge a matter before it’s time?

As children we heard “God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt”. It is in the dirt that the outer casing of a seed dies.  It is in the dirt that roots grow and develop. Oxygen, nutrients, water and minerals are transferred through the mobility of dirt. Essentially, growth doesn’t happen without or in the absencce of dirt.  Is it possible that I and people like me suffer some deficientcies due to our refusal to interact and engage with the dirt.  Is our resistance ill prepared for real life and love. Has our refusal stunted our understanding and perception?  Maybe even. caused us to live and love bias or as a by stander when the blessing has always resided being firmly planted in the dirt of God’s choosing.

Many of us, myself included would opt to pull up the weeds…remove them, throw them out because they’re in the way, taking up space etc.  But who am I, who are you to decide worth or value? Shouldn’t we allow God to decide the environment of our grooming? He decides, lets, allows and permits the good and the bad.  His ways  and thoughts are not ours.  Unless the Holy Spirit enlightens our thoughts and feelings are direct opposite. God made the dirt of life and love. He knows how and when to use it to move, motivate and make us grow up in Him.

I had to surrender my passive aggressive tendency to live and love indifferent to those growing with me.  I had to submit my own response and opinion to the complete finished work of the Holy Spirit.  But most of all I had to remember that I am just one sowing in the field of another, yet a seed growing in the ground of God’s grooming.

Like Nehemiah, working to help bring about God’s vision for life and love.  Like these servants up in alarm because the enemy has sowed weeds among the wheat while we were sleeping but this conflict, care and  concernabout the damage being done is in error.  God got this, got you and I.  He is our protection,  our provider and is omni present above and below the ground of our grooming.  He’s in the dirt…is  using the dirt and wants us to stay, stick with it and confidently obey and stand upon His promise for a harvest.  This battle is the Lords… not mine or yours.
I’m no longer concerned about getting dirty, keeping the appearance of living and loving clean. God I’m willing and I’ll be obedient in, around and amidst the dirt of your choosing. Continue to Grow me, my love as you are doing without concern of my preference or my being preoccupied unnecessarily with the enemy and his weeds. Keeping my faith and trust in your promise of a greater harvest.  Life and love gets dirty but we can keep our hearts clean if we confidently trust in the God who creates and works all things in conjunction to His will for life and love.~AntTBri