In His Likeness w/ AntTBri

The very thought,  not to mention the reality of loving you the way I do use to scare me.  It unearthed every fear and insecurity of who I’m not but wanted to be and threw in my face how my best attempts failed. Love the way I began to understand it challenged me to hope, trust and persevere in the throws of vulnerabilities. Love the way God intends it addresses inadequacies,  what you feel and think is working against you and the stuff you dare not utter or admit to.  Stuff like “I fear not being enough for you or you one day deciding the weight of who I am is too costly”. You know the real stuff you never share that keeps you distant because the truth is love that is authentic is so rare, risky and relational that it could be your undoing.

We all have these fears…and most times the viable choice is to do it afraid.  So I choose to challenge abandonment issues, trust issues and not being valued for the person I am not appear to be.  I don’t entertain negative thoughts, second guess your motives and expect the worse in you.  It stopped being an option that I would agree with your weakness and penalize you for human frailty and imperfections. I decided I wanted the God kind of love so I needed to become it.

Today Im aware of my fears but I live and love intentionally opposite, defenseless and vulnerable to what loving you as I want to be loved requires.  It requires the heart of God lived out through my being.  It requires fear in perspective, faith in practice and the finality of one purpose.  Love is a work in progress that becomes what God wants it to be. ARE we there yet? Not exactly but we’re learning, living and loving to become the gift that honors the heart of God towards us.  I won’t always get it right but I can whole heart promise to never let fear, insecurities and my stuff keep me from trying.  God will show you the depth, degree and desire of His heart towards you by how His love freely flows through me.  There’s no fear in or about that. Living and loving in perspective, according to God’s principle and Active (Attentive) practice~AntTBri