In His Likeness w/ AntTBri

While my father was escorting me down the aisle some years ago, he looked over and said (paraphrase) “got dang Brina you shaking like a fudging leaf you still want to do this right?”  Behind a plastered smile and under my breath I told him yes and reminded him “daddy we in church”.  This man, suited, military sharp looking as handsome and confident as ever said “God know me”.

I knew my daddy was only escorting me because I wanted this for me.  His objections or concerns were noted and recanted when my persistence wouldn’t twain. In that moment he was trying to give me an out…”Brina flip flop these people you sure”?  With a squeeze of the hand, the biggest smile I could muster and pleading eyes I looked at my daddy and told him “God knows me too”.

Right there, in April of 2000 I saw for the first time my daddy drop a tear. He smiled, hugged me tight and whispered in my ear “Baby go on and be happy”. Now it’s not to say his eyes never watered (I was twelve, another story) but to actually let me see him cry…eyes blood shot red, tears staining his cheeks as he allowed me to settle into my choice.  Now that was something.

What I didn’t know then, that I kind of know now is that my father knew best.  It wasn’t just he didn’t particularly like my choice it was that he knew that although he wanted to he COULD  NOT prevent the consequences  that  would accompany that choice.

He and I hardly ever talk about it, and if we do his response is “fudge it/them… it was a learning experience… you grew from it and that’s more than most can say “.  His language is colorful, he can be cantankerous, crude and cranky but he is also caring, concise and courageous.  If you ever need to hear it straight, want to know what it is no chaser or shorts Howard Crosby is the man to consult.  His heart is so big and he is unconventional (ly) wise.

For years I could not hear his counsel because of it’s packaging/presentation but life and love taught me how to decode the message.  At the core,  in every situation he has encouraged, educated and equipped me to live and love true to who I am.  “Brina you be you…do what’s going to make you happy” .  “You got a real good heart baby, you enjoy helping people… so give them the Sabrina experience”… My father  knows how to capture and keep my attention and can NOW talk me in or out of a thing.

My father’s response,  explicitly colorful as it was is the heart posture of humanistic  love.  There are times when love wants to spare you from the hurtful consequences of the wrong choice.  Love wants to say “fudge em ” because their actions, words, existence proves to be opposite your best interest or what is wanted for you.  It’s so hard not to have an opinion, to stay objective when our humanity wants to intervene.  

I am my father’s daughter…although I phrase my care much differently my humanity feels all the emotions of “I don’t want you to feel or be going through this.  I want to rescue you, give you a start over…an out”.  In my humanity there are some colorful expressions applicable to how angry watching you GROW through this makes me. 

Then I remember that Our Father knows best.  He is using all this, especially the foolishness to bring about His purpose for life and love.  His heart posture and example of love is the one I am to follow.  He prescribes a different kind of F it/em. “Forgive it.  Forgive yourself for the choice of them.  At the time you made a  decision based upon the information available.   Forgive them for not being who they presented themselves to be or for not  being the person you  believed or needed them to be.  Each and everyone of us are flawed, can be fickle and act foolish yet God loves us and allows us opportunities to get life and love right after our being and doing wrong”.  Our Father knows best…it’s best, beneficial to remember God values and loves all parties involved so it is advantageous to FORGIVE it/em.

That’s the head space, heart posture we have to adapt, accept and acclimate in this season.  We have to find a way to see ourselves and then others the way God sees and live and love accordingly. Then and only then  can we  fathom compassion,  concern and care for those who have hurt, hindered or hampered the quality of life and love directly or indirectly.  Then and only then can we see ourselves in light of our choice and consequences as victorious and not another’s victim.  Owning our  choice and consequence helps us and those that love us attest to our growth and development.  We live and love learning how to do and be better.  A WISE son/daughter heeds [and is the fruit of] his father’s instruction and correction (Proverbs 13:1;15a; 18b).

Maybe, the warnings prior to your choice were said in a manner you could not hear them.Maybe, the people in attendance played a factor.  It’s very probable you like me thought and felt you could make it work, pull it off and had to prove something to yourself so you grinned and suffered it to be IGNORING the warnings of your father.  Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter or change God’s heart towards you.  He allowed it knowing you would come to this moment of growth and development.   Look at you suited in grace, forgiveness sharp, flexing your faith in Him who causes life and love to work together for our good.  He knows us completely and is invested in our well being and the outcome of how we will live and love in His likeness.  He is instructing us to live and love forgiving ourselves and others for falling, failing and fudging up the quality of life and love.  Our Fathers strength is made perfect in our weakness.   The world can tell whose child we are by the manner in which we love the favorable and least favored.   We love them as our Father does. Our Father knows best! May the upcoming days be decorated in God’s perfect will for us because His permissive will isn’t what’s best for us~AntTBri