In His Likeness w/ AntTBri

“When they had all had enough, He said to His disciples, Gather up now the fragments (the broken pieces that are left over), so that nothing may be lost and wasted.” (John 6:12 AMP)

One would only have had to enjoy playing with building blocks as a child to know the value, validity and variety pieces yield on any given day.  It wouldn’t be taxing for them to remember the different variations those same pieces allowed them to create after being knocked down or disassembled time and time again. All that was needed to create something entirely new was intrinsic vision and access to the pieces.  If as a child you built beautiful structures and knocked them down because it wasn’t right (to your liking) and you were able to vision something better than good or okay you have what it takes to gather the pieces today.

Grown men and women alike build these constructs for life and love that aren’t built on empirical evidence rather their experience, expertise and expectation thus far.  These constructs serve us well until the wrecking ball hits our vulnerability.  What a wreck we become when things are array.  Especially if we  didn’t anticipate or see it coming.  We don’t like to be caught off guard. It causes us to fret over and fear the moment after this.  We forget to celebrate the fact that we absorbed and survived the hit and fail to shift our focus to the possibility before us.  Often times mourning what was as if there is no hope, help or harvest attached to the provision of today.  It’s so easy to reside in regret and often times extremely hard to remember God’s sovereignty.  Our relationship with God is lively, loving and lasting.  It is the empirical data that under girds greater resolve, resilience and the promise of restoration After This.  It guarantees the usefulness of our broken pieces and ensures nothing experienced, endured or encountered will be wasted.

Here lately I’ve been feeling the pressure to gather the broken pieces of life and love.  You see right before the wrecking ball hit I was fairing fine by my standards.  I was able to circumvent fear, not give in to foolishness but most of all stand on my faith that God would.  I was calling life and love into proper alignment as the Word prescribes even commanding structures to converge (operate opposite their norm) and be joined to me as they were designed and designated.  I could vividly vision the pieces coming together without actually seeing it so it didn’t matter what was happening or not happening before me. I was able to ignore a many things and grow numb to others because in my mind I was strong, stable and secure. During that time I was relying on my history with God (living and loving on cruise control) not actually working to strengthen my faith or gird up my loins…going through the motions.  Erroneously thinking the time in believing was enough to carry me, keep me standing erect and usher me to fulfillment.  I was totally oblivious to the impending hit.

Sequentially I can remember the number of hits it took to break and shatter my hope. Secretly I can admit to feeling let down and disappointed in God, being devastated by outcomes and disoriented by my interpretation of statements uttered and events.  I can still feel the crumbling of my heart and the loosening of my grip as I decided it hurt too much to continue trying to believe. Piece by piece my life and love imploded and I chose not to fight or find away to recover. I chose to give into hopelessness and convinced myself I was helpless.  After  all who was I and hadn’t I given my best/all to follow Christ only to image the scorn and scrutiny of those who question the validity of my stance?  Ever just felt like a fool, like all your effort amounts to nothing substantial? Ever felt like a child, wondering if any of this real? No matter how hard you try to keep the pieces together and how many times you yourself disassemble them to build better, things still fall apart, break and are vulnerable.  Ever just tired of not being/having any control over what happens to you?  I don’t think it’s ever one hit, rather it is the progression of hits over time that feels or convinces our humanity that this is the final blow, that we can take no more.  The enemy is crafty, he doesn’t care how long it takes as long as he gets us to change our confession…our heart posture towards God.  It is at this cross point, you and I feel the pressure to gather the remnants of our faith. It is during this  time Grace constrains us and keeps us His reach.

Silently I’m still trying to gain the strength to gather the broken pieces of my dream, and ability to hope… to believe it’s still possible for time to collide with destiny, that I was not and have not believed amidst. Situation-(ally) reminding myself that God’s Word is true, still applicable to life and love’s situations, sicknesses and stand stills and that my limitations are not indicative of God .  What I know in my heart of hearts keeps whispering, wrestling, and wrecking the lies my humanity wants to surrender to. Because nothing we experience and go through is ever  wasted the Spirit is prompting us to gather the broken pieces.  I so hear Him saying “it’s in you to believe, be my witness and benefit from what I allowed that’s why I chose you for this”. God’s not shocked  or stalled by the frailty of our humanity. His purpose for our brokenness will bear witness to His glory as we surrender to the pressure to gather the fragments of our brokenness and stop detesting our weakness.

So just like the stubbornness displayed when we were children, refusing to accept the good before us because we could vision life and love better if we just  started over and tried again.  You and I have to knock down the structures we’ve built in our own minds and lives according to our own understanding (in conjunction with the work of the Holy Spirit) that is threatening  to keep us inhibited by our fear that this will reoccur, won’t get better or ever change.It’s in our DNA to see and believe in possibility.  It’s in us to knock down everything antithetical to the will of God.  God is our source, He has not and will not fail us…what was allowed has purpose.  Together we can knock down the temporary constructs put in place to protect us from the unknown and what we cannot fathom with   the intensity of this pressure. Together, you and I, will  live and love to experience the Better promised to us and we’ll use our brokenness before the Lord to build better structures and strengthened others.

How interesting  it is that the 6th chapter of John begins with AFTER THIS.  I believe Jesus is looking (seeing) our need of substance, sustenance, strength and something new while we’re feeling the pressure to gather.  Liken to the text, He’s taking what we have in our hearts, hands and heads and commanding us to recline upon the pasture He made us lie down in.  I believe we’re entering a season of greater distribution…where the provision of God will yield an abundance previous structures could not contain.   I also believe God is concerned and cares about our wanting…and that He will address each and every one specifically. AFTER THIS, when our needs are met and we’ve seemingly had enough of all He supply’s, you and I, will again feel the pressure to gather and fill up baskets with the overflow of His promises.  How miraculous it also is that in a few days, it will be twelve years since God spoke and shared His heart towards me and that  there is still evidence of His provision. Even in our brokenness there’s still remenants of faith, hope, and love waiting for the opportunity to be expressed. Even with the pressure I’m  Thanking God for the prophetic Word spoken over life and love and for the value, validity and variety of our pieces.  We’re intrinsically creative and both you and I have been granted access so in and through His strentgth we’ll build something new and better. I’ve been feeling the pressure to gather and decided now was time to let you know I yet agree, attest to and affirm the Work, Way and Word God is using to complete what He begun in and between us.  Life and love is growing better.~AntTBri