In His Likeness w/ AntTBri

There was a time when I needed the things of life and love to feel affirmed, accomplished and accepted. What I had, what I did and who I was perceived to be… meant everything to me…it determined my self worth…it spoke to my sense of value. I saw everything and everyone through the lens of help me feel good about me. During that time, life and love looked good, it was picture perfect…but I was empty, unfulfilled and miserable…smiling, speaking, singing, and shouting all over the place.  How glad I am to have grown in my understanding of what honors and pleases God. His love isn’t based on merit or us trying to image what we think “blessed” looks like. It has nothing to do with human derived perfection and everything to do with dependence, an interconnectedness with the Holy Spirit for the God outcome for life and love. It requires we show up, share and showcase God’s glory. Our actions, articulations and aspirations should magnify the glory on our life and love.

During that time, back then when I had something to prove the church was my escape from reality…it was my fantasy island…high-performances equaled high-profile…and most affirmed “she’s blessed…highly favored…so anointed” or so I chose to believe. I felt accomplished like I was doing great things for God, the fanfare affirmed areas I hadn’t yet learned to submit to the work of the Holy Spirit. For the most part I was accepted and respected as a result of my affiliation with the persons in charge juxtaposed to the actual relationship with God. Back then people loved, encouraged, promoted the gift (my doing) and seldom spoke of or to my being. When you’re heart is to please God, life and love will cause you to reassess what you’ve been taught, shown and allowed to practice in error. Is that what’s happening during this shut down…social distancing? What’s happening in the minds and hearts of church goers? I don’t know, but when I was shutout, I had grew tired of working so hard, having to do so many tricks and was looking to God for a better option. This shutdown could very well serve as an out for a many. It could be permitted so that our hearts and motives can be realigned to the will of God. Perception is enlightened by the light of the Word in our deprivation. If time would permit I’d detail the not so restorative discussions held in those final days when all I wanted was to please God and I refused to play or be the fool. I’d disclose it was at this turn/switch (enlightening of understanding) I learned to never do or be to please a person or people. It is at this crucible I came to understand only what you do for Christ will last, matter,be remembered. Whew what a reality check, How helpful but hurtful this realization was. I’ll never forget the clarity them leaving, my losing the stuff of life brought to my existence. I’m praying such a realization manifest for those of us who attended and did the work of church without coming to the knowledge of truth or freedom found in relationship.

Character, conviction, my connection to the risen Savior solidified when life and love forced me to see God, myself and others through the lens of grace. All that stuff, all those works lost there appeal and attractiveness. I grew out of needing external things (perceptions and possessions) to make me feel good about me and grew up into a clear understanding of the love of God towards, for and in me. All that time invested came to mean nothing. It was God’s love I wanted and needed. It is God’s love you desire and need and contrary to misconceptions presented and practiced within the four walls this time of pause can afford you a more excellent way. God’s love is now my reality…it is my internal affirmation, accomplishment and acceptance. I’m now able to comprehend and contextuaIize my worth and value to God…just how much He loves me. Because He lives and loves me completely I have no desire or need to pretend or perpetrate the fantasy of relationship to be impressive. I’m not living or loving needing to prove anything other than God’s truth. I’m better, have grown independent of outward stimuli and support. That’s my desire for you…that after this you’re better, that your service unto God becomes beneficial to kingdom purposes and brings God glory.

Escaping is no longer a need or desire of mines, even during this pandemic, amidst the current political unrest and protesting happening around us. It remains my choice to stay actively present, pliable, and pragmatic in God’s presence. I’m not trying to compensate for those things and persons absent or missing from life and love any longer. As a matter of fact I’m doing more with less contact, communication and company because it’s even more apparent that our strides in and through the hard place shows forth the glory of God. Our statements while in the desolate place proclaims life found in the Word. It redirects our focus to our relationship with God, the example we set by the way we represent Him to the world, communicates hope to the unbelieving. Self effort? Spirit directed? God applause or God appalled? Feel good? For His glory?

Today, God being right about me is my motivation of aspiration…my smiling, speaking, singing and shouting is to get Him, His love noticed…accepted, affirmed and accomplished in the lives and loves of those who don’t KNOW HIM. You’re value or self worth is not contained within those four walls, your or other’s perceptions, it is not proven or verified by your possessions, your position or assumed sphere of power. External stimuli fluctuates throughout life and love. Isn’t it apparent? Eternal salvation fixes life and love. Relationship trumps affiliation. It’s not the work that pleases and honors God…it the authenticity of a yielded heart…a life for a Life…love for Love. “God gets the glory when we’re 100% the person He created us to be”. When it’s a glory thing it changes how and why we do what we do and to whom we do it for. We become the church…win souls for Christ. Life and love becomes a glory stride…do it as unto the Lord~AntTBri