In His Likeness w/ AntTBri

“A brother/sister offended is harder to be won than a strong city and their contentions are like the bars of a castle”. (Proverbs 18:19)

Lady V.
She’ll probably never be the example used for a woman’s day message, nor serve as the prototype for anybody’s First Lady but Vashti’s anger, antics and actions can teach us sisters something about honoring your “him” as king.  Some years  ago I taught a series entitled “Lord help me to see him as king”.  The premise of the study was there will always be reasons to justify disrespecting, dishonoring  and discrediting your man so you’re going to have to be intentional about seeing him as God does.   We can only accomplish this successfully in and through the work of the Holy Spirit. Your anger towards him, accusations and his actions as you perceive them will always threatened what you’re blessed to share.

So what would Lady V. tell us in retrospect? I think she would state the obvious,  I was bias to my need for him to make me feel validated as his queen.  He didn’t give me what I needed so I refused to give him what he needed.  It was my intent to humilate him in front of his peers and everyone who thought he was so great.  It made my heart glad to create a seperate identity and carve out exactly how I’d be remembered.  Sexy, smart, strong willed and sure to leave a lasting impression is an adequate summary of Lady V. if you ask me.

It makes one wonder why a woman possessing beauty, brains and bounty would opt to act a fool.  What drove her to flip out, why did she go that far…refuse to come?  Outside of humiliating him (hitting him where it hurts is a woman’s amo that’s easy), proving her point I believe there was a deep rooted hurt offense that drove her.  Typically women are nurturing, loyal, accommodating  and willing to please.  We thrive off of it.  Generally we are not venomous, vindictive and vile without what we consider justification. 

So what was Lady V’s justification? Could it have been Xerxes private vulnerability displayed publicly?  Was she unable to see him as king because she detested his human weakness?  Was her public disregard for his kingship a derivative of a private discontent? Why was Lady V volatile? (Esther 1:10). Xerxes was in high spirits from wine. Did she take issue with not being directly responsible for his delight? Did she feel like an after thought, that she didn’t matter or was his last consideration?  Did he need “help” acknowledging and appreciating what she added to his kingdom? Was the kingdom and all it’s splendor her Nemesis? Was she so attention deprived that his fury and anger sufficed her need to be noticed? Did she think or feel that every woman wanted to be her…get off on holding the position without ever intending on displaying passion for the role of standing with, by and up for the king?

Lady V isn’t the topic of women’s day messages nor does she serve as a prototype for First Ladies because she didn’t display the character, conduct or care that should be given a king.  See Esther 1:16. Vashti’s public display of disdain, disrespect and discord not only caused her to loose her position as queen.  It caused her to live a life void of the joys of togetherness. She displays no passion or regard for the role to which she was chosen.  Was she void of grace? The anointing? tenacity to care for the total man?  Could she not balance the good with the bad?  Or did she not see him in light of her expectation? 

If Lady V teaches us anything, she teaches us not to attack/ side with  his weakness…not to use it against him or use it to prove a point.  She teaches us how to not succumb  to the workings of the flesh…pride, power and possessions.  She teaches us our own disappoint, hurt or embarassment can ruin a great thing.  She teaches us the consequence of a wrong choice.  She teaches us public decisions bare private reprecussions.  If her goal was to get him to notice her, her banishment ensured he’d never see her in the light she desired. 

When you see him as king, you see the flaws of his humanity but magnify the purpose of God on his life.  You pray to that accord, act in accordance and articulate I see you and will treat you as God does. I don’t have to like or agree with your choice to respect, honor and willingly submit to your authority both privately and publicly.  I have to maintain a correct heart posture towards God, myself and you and that I can do both privately and publicly.  That’s what will matter when I disagree, am disappointed and down right upset about something you did or didn’t do.  Because I want to, choose to see you as king I’ll seek God for the how to of being the right kind of queen.  I’ll fight to maintain the right heart posture, humility and live and love being a help because that’s the advantage point of becoming a queen…to helpmeet the vision and purpose of God for the life of your king.

What would have happened if Lady V humbled herself, trusted her heart, hurt and justifications to  the Lord?  We will never know because her memory and mistreatment of the king got her replaced.  She could not be won and her actions built the cell of her demise.  A foolish woman tears down the foundation of her life and love with her very own hands and then wonders why everything she touches crumbles. 

Prayer
Lord help us see and rectify the error of our ways.  Forgive us and restore us to dependency on you and you alone.  Give us the strength to resist the enemy and help us not use what we know of each other’s weakness for our selfish gain.  May we get no delight in humiliating, hurting, hindering and hampering the light of another’s significance.   Show us how to share in significance, how to stand with, up for and in support of our given roles.  Lord you love Lady V and Vashti likes it is my prayer that your love reaches, renews and restores her hope in you.  Turn our hearts back to you and bring to an end the tantrums, tension and terror of our wayward ways.   Lord protect the king, guard his heart and mind, in his anger keep him from sin, gird up his loins and help him see Vashti’s attempts at humiliating him is setting the table for how you’ll honor him. Give him the wherewithal to trust you while hurting, hindered and hampered.  You are God of life and loves situations and we confidently trust our times in your hand.  Holy Spirit make life and love what you desire and declared it would be.~AntTBri