In His Likeness w/ AntTBri

…he will give a crown of beauty for ashes…Isaiah 61:3

Sitting on the mantle of my cognitive awareness, vividly decorated by the details of life and love resides the ashes of mourning.  Seared into the seat of my emotions is the confinement of a costly closed container housing the remains of death…all that has died off within… rendering me ineffective and impotent. The remains of what use to be lively has dissipated in the infernal of my personal/internal hell. Ashes… soot like grains of hope, the ability to trust and the desire to love without abandon suffocates, stifles and stops upon the sealing of the urn. Humanity was never meant to live or love without hope. God in His infinite wisdom provided the equation of exchange. In exchange for what has burnt, broken and beaten us is the assurance and blessing of beauty.

Among the living, throughout the cycles of bereavement the ownership/possession of an Urn symbolically memorializes the significance of the loss.  The relatable sentiment inferred when one chooses to save and store remains is that s/he (it) will always be with us.  The implication also means it is our choice to live and love with the reminder of what hit, hurt, hollowed and hardened our heart. How many of us own and are living and loving with the actual and metaphorical pressure of the Urn?  Is it possible that ownership, possession and memorial is the open gate to oppression and our feeling overwhelmed or hopeless?  Could it be, the feelings of darkness, depression, desperation and defensiveness we’re trying to overcome are a direct derivative of our humanity’s effort to validate our own pain and process? Is it a result of our living and loving constantly thinking, talking and tripping about one side of the equation (magnifying the ashes)?  Does focusing, fixating and frequenting the memory of what afflicted, wounded, and broke our heart (both positive and negative past experiences) cause us to miss the exchange promised in the referenced scripture? Do we attribute everything to or through the lens of that experience?  Are we living and loving captive, confined and condemned by what happened or is happening right now among/with the ashes? Are our memorials standing strong because we need that area of pain, wrong, and injustice vindicated as we envisioned God would do it? Are our actual and metaphorical urns acceptable receptacles of defiance manifesting in varied styles, shapes and sizes dependent on how we plan or need to use them?  Are we soliciting empathy? Using these urns to satisfy/justify a need? Are they an outward and or inward display of our refusal to accept God’s sovereignty? Our humanistic last ditch effort to maintain our thought process, how we feel and get our needs met opposite His allowance? Which side of the equation are we favoring? Ashes or Beauty?

The pressure of the urn very well could be the unearthing of surface dust problems manifesting in our choice of mindset, mannerism and movement. It could also be an accumulation of miniscule particles heavily weighing on the heart keeping us sad, suffering, and stuck at a standstill.  However that perspective would keep us limited, liable and looking at God, ourselves and others suspect (distrusting). We would be doomed to live and love veiled behind our self-erected defenses, insecurities and inadequacies. Everything (possibilities and people) would manifest ugly, unfulfilling, unsatisfactory and unjust. We would live and love perpetually unsure, unsatisfied and under the weight of all that can and will go wrong. We would live and love never coming to know the expanse of God’s heart towards us. This can’t be it! It does not address the other side of the equation, speak to the promise of beauty given in exchange for the ashes of life and love. God’s grace is the Xfactor in the equation of life and love. Grace adorns humanity beautifully.  It enables us to exchange our hurt, hopelessness and negating head space for the beauty of a life and love of abundance. If the present picture of your life and love is still manifesting ugly, unsatisfactory and (opposite) this particular pressure could very well be the indicator it’s time to break the urn and allow the power of God to transform the content poured out into a work of majestic beauty.

The urn for many of us could very well represent “I’m not trying to pretend or deny the occurrence happened, hurt and has hampered or hindered me in ways I’m struggling to overcome.  It can serve as a symbol signifying our need and cry for Help.  Maybe the pressure of the urn isn’t meant to penalize our humanity but it is purposely used by God to challenge, correct and constrain us in to the perfection of His will for our life and love.   Instead of being leery of the urn, looking at it negatively or utilizing it in error we could choose to learn/see God’s purpose in allowing us to contain and cover ourselves in decayed matter.  Does the significance of ashes reveal God’s strength illuminated through our individual and collective humanistic weakness? Are ashes a symbol of hope? Do they trigger the promise of restoration and redemption?  The necessity of death ushers us to acknowledging a greater or deeper need. It postures us in humility and helps us grow into dependence on the power, plan and promises of God.  It could be that our ability to praise and proclaim good news to others diminishes when we (ourselves) need to be replenished, renewed and rescued from perpetual cycles of disappointment, devastation and death.  So hurt, hardships and happenstance is allowed to push, prompt and propel us to look to God for life and loves answer. The beauty God provides addressees, accounts for and is a healing agent.

Are we in (still) mourning what we’ve lost as we live and love? Are our tears watering the ground of our growth and spiritual development? If so, the ashes…our rehearsing, remembering and revisiting the Urn containing our memories affords or gives our humanity time to adjust to what is yet lacking…it demonstrates and bears the signs of a disheartened spirit but holds the promise of  what is coming? Can we use the urn for inspiration, as an instrument to contain and cover our ideas until we’re Spirit led as to how we will live and love out our call and commission after the severity of death subsides?  Is it the Spirit of God’s intention to use it for a future unveiling when we’ve come to terms with what had to die in us, off of us, around us so what was missing could manifest and materialize beautiful? His providential allowance of time, trouble and tribulation helps us release death content into the environment being used to grow us. Is it time to pour out the ashes of our failures and fears? Hurt and disappointment?  Anger and accusations against God, ourselves and others in exchange for what’s going to happen next.  Can we allow the Spirit of God to renew our hope, ability to trust and love without abandon within the parameters of what God deems beautiful?

Does the pressure of the urn solidify the exchange that happens as a result of suffering with Him, for Him on account of Him? If so, we can agree that everything experienced, endured and evolving add(s) to the beauty our life and love exudes and exemplifies to others. God is getting the glory? After this…there is the promise of beauty. Ashes indicate something ended so something greater than the value of this current pain is coming (reference Israel in the context of the provided scripture text). It serves as a symbol or indicator that God’s purpose for our life and love prevails. It took that death, disappointment, disservice and devastation to bring us back to this moment where we’re cognizant of the good that exist and is missing from our current reality. It’s the hope needed to believe in the possibility of tomorrow, next time and someday. Life and love renews! At the appointed time, grief will expire and the Spirit of God will breathe on life and love blowing away the residue of our ashes.  The Urns will no longer hold us a captive audience to pain and despair, hurt and disappointment, what we’ve experienced so far.  We’re going to live and love to see and appreciate the simplicity of beauty.  Beautiful is not the vessel that houses the anointing and our commission to carry and deliver the message of salvation. Beautiful is the end result of all it took…the pouring out of our disappointment, discouragement and defenses (ashes) for the exchange of what God promised and desires we experience… allow every grain of heart break and hurt to transform into a work of beauty. Memorial this new experience and expression of how you’ve grown to live and love in the context of beautiful. Use it for God’s advantage, boast on His many blessings, benefits and bounty. You are the planting of the Lord, His glory and minister… magnificently adorned in God’s strength and power… equipped to raise up, rebuild and restore former desolation’s.

Grace affords us opportunities to do just that.  God’s showing and exposing us to something beautifully new. Don’t fail to see or choose to miss that. It took the bad, broken and bothersome to cultivate hearts able to apprehend, appreciate and applaud otherwise missed beauty. The pressure of the Urn propels us to hope, trust and love without abandoned in the beauty of life and life after the ashes. It opens us up and causes to bask in what is lively, life giving and lasting. It creates a desperation for air, freedom and allows us to breathe freely again. No longer hampered, hindered or hurt to the point of immobility and impotence.  No longer mourning but rejoicing (joying in the Lord) who remains our strength, support and safety. Thank God for the ashes but I’ll forever bless Him celebrate, cherish and cater to the other side of the equation. Beautiful is the life and love transforming out of the ashes. Beautiful is hope renewed and the opportunity to be used by God to expect, express and experience love differently. Beautiful is the process of our becoming~AntTBri